How to Shoot (Photographs) Like A Terrorist

He's a Pro by MShades With several cases of photographers being harassed by authorities, a new UK campaign against “suspicious” photographers, and even a whole magazine (or one issue) devoted to the supposed crime of photography, a thought popped in my head - if you want to be a famous photographer, you should get yourself arrested.

That’s why I’ve come up with these 4 tips to help you get attention from authorities. They all overlap a bit, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is that these tips work.

Bring the largest camera (or lens) you have

We all know that terrorists want attention - that’s why they plant bombs wreak as much havoc as they can. They want people to notice them so they can get their message heard. This means that terrorists don’t want to bring around small, inconspicuous cameras - they don’t attract any attention. If you want to look like a terrorist, bring out the biggest hunks of plastic, metal, and glass that scream out “I’m a photographer terrorist.”

Focus on famous landmarks

The more famous your subject target is, the more attention it gets. Shooting a famous landmark - one that probably 435,629 other people are shooting - helps feed the terrorist’s need for attention. What differentiates the terrorist from all those other people (aside from the fact that he wants to blow this place to high heavens), is the fact that he uses the largest, most sophisticated, and (most importantly) most attention-grabbing camera in his arsenal.

Spend a lot of time composing your shots

We all know that terrorists are meticulous planners. They’re such sticklers for perfection, in fact, that even their surveillance photos have to be gorgeous. Even if they’re only marking “the location of CCTV cameras,” they have to do this in such a way that the light falls on the CCTV camera perfectly. Otherwise, their photos will be rejected by their bosses.

Be obvious… be very obvious

I’ll say it yet again - terrorists want attention. Make it very clear that you have a camera (a large camera helps) and that you intend to use it. If you needs props or a supporting cast - think assistants holding reflectors, lights, and bags of equipment - bring them with you. If you make it very obvious that you’re a serious photographer terrorist, then you will get attention.

Do you have more ideas for getting attention from authorities? Leave a comment below.

photo: He’s a Pro by MShades licensed under Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 License

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Luis • 6 March 2008 •

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18 Responses »

  1. [...] - - Speaking of terrorism, do you like to be a troublemaker? LightChasers Photography has a cool article on How to Shoot (Photographs) Like a Terrorist [...]

  2. How to Shoot (Photographs) Like A Terrorist…

    Want to be a famous photographer? Try these 4 ways to get yourself harassed by authorities, then blog about your experiences - somebody is bound to tell your tale….

  3. I love this post.

    If you want to photograph like a terrorist in Washington DC - just start setting up a tripod and see how fast security comes running.

    And my friends wonder why I wear a tshirt that says I’m a photographer not a terrorist :)

  4. I’m a Terrorist Twice Over…

    It was bad enough when I read this post about anti-terror police targeting “suspicious” photographers. It highlighted the poster to the right. The text?
    Thousands of people take photos every day. What if one of them seems odd?
    Terrorists…

  5. [...] How to Shoot (Photographs) Like A Terrorist Lightchasers Photography Want to be a famous photographer? Try these 4 ways to get yourself harassed by authorities, then blog about your experiences - somebody is bound to tell your tale. [...]

  6. [...] to Luis, who writes about the photography aspect of this story, for the tip. Filed under News by The [...]

  7. Nice post. I was hassled the other day because I had a power plant at sunset in my shot. Security for the power plant tracked me down over a mile down the road telling me it was illegal to take pictures of the plant. I stood there next to my licensed car, with my large lens, camera bag, tripod, girlfriend, and the sunset and looked at the dude and said, you’ve got to be kidding me. I showed him the photo on my camera’s screen with the powerplant off center and silhouetted against the bright sunset and asked, jokingly, “How is this a threat to national security?” Luckily I got a nice guy and he got the joke. He laughed and explained that the law was serious and I could keep the pictures but please don’t photograph the power plant. I smiled back and gave him my best yes sir, but when people with guns tell you not to photograph a sunset, something’s wrong. I don’t remember pictures of anything being integral to Homeland Securities investigation of anyone. I think this is like the “Has anyone unknown to you handled your luggage?” question the airlines are required to ask. They know that didn’t happen but the purpose of the question is to make you think about security. Perhaps the hassling photogs is just to get us to report suspicious behaviour. If it is it’s an ethical means to that end. — Thanks for the post - Scott

  8. LOL, loved this post :-)
    I’d also suggest to grew a long beard and have a couple of sunbaths :D

  9. Patty: I want a shirt like yours! I think photographers around the world would want that shirt too.

    Scott: You got off lucky compared to some of the guys in the links in the post. I get your point about the end of all this being to get us thinking about security, but the fact is it’s still a hassle. Anyway, I’m glad you enjoyed the post - I hope you got at least a chuckle out of it.

    Fabrizio: I’m having trouble growing the beard, but I could get the right skin tone given enough time under the sun. I think I like Patty’s idea of wearing her “I’m a photographer not a terrorist” shirt though - nothing says guilty more than denial. :D

  10. [...] Click below to read the rest of the article: How to Shoot (Photographs) Like A Terrorist [...]

  11. [...] finally - A very funny post on How to Shoot (Photographs) Like a Terrorist If you’ve tried to use a tripod in parts of DC recently - you’ll really enjoy this post [...]

  12. If you *really* want to attract suspicion, try being a heavily pregnant blonde trying to photograph your kids in front of a tourist attraction — because anyone who’s been through airport security knows that pregnant blondes with kids are major security risks. “I’m going to need you to pour out that baby bottle, ma’am.”

  13. Michelle: Pregnant blondes with kids are major security risks. We all know that between preparing meals, tucking kids in bed, and driving kids to various activities, moms (especially pregnant ones) have all the time in the world to plan terrorist attacks. On top of this, moms keep all sort of dangerous items in their bags like baby bottles (that’s not milk, that’s a cocktail of dangerous chemicals) and wipes (they’re actually laced with really yucky germs), just to name a couple.

    Forgive me, by the way, if I’m not quite making sense. I think it’s past my bedtime already.

  14. We had problems like this when I lived and worked as a photographer in KSA in the 1980’s. Here in the US I have had friends chased by “concerned citizen’s” while out on assignment. People should think before they call it might keep the police from wasting time. I think this is all away for the governments to make people think they are doing something.

  15. Mark:
    The problem here in the Philippines isn’t so much the “concerned citizens” but the overzealous security guards - they take one look at a DSLR and immediately say that “picture-taking” isn’t allowed even if there are dozens of other people with cellphone and P&S cameras snapping away.

    What’s scary with this government propaganda though is that it makes, or at least tries to make everybody look at photographers suspiciously. On top of this, it gives the security extra incentive to bother us camera-carrying folk.

    As for people thinking before calling the police - ad campaigns like the ones I mentioned in the post don’t exactly help that cause. Instead, they seem to be promoting paranoia and a whole lot of calls to the police.

  16. [...] How to Shoot (Photographs) Like A Terrorist - With several cases of photographers being harassed by authorities, a new UK campaign against “suspicious” photographers, and even a whole magazine (or one issue) devoted to the supposed crime of photography, a thought popped in my head - if you want to be a famous photographer, you should get yourself arrested. [...]

  17. I seem to be late on this one, but what a great post. I have had several experiences with this. Now I just look at them and ask if they can quote my the particular law they are referring to, and they look dumbfounded and usually just leave. Once in a while they explain how they cannot recall the specifics but they KNOW it is the law, so I say well radio your dispatcher, find out which one it is and we can go from there, that just ends it most of the time, others I just keep at until they tire of my ranting and raving about my rights I have rights and I will not under any circumstances allow then to be taken from me. I have a few stories but really don’t want to do all that typing lol. The bottom line is if Photographers start backing down, not standup we all lose. It is our right, not privilege but a right and if we don’t stand up for them they will slowly be taken away, don’t let it happen.

  18. J.Cormier:
    I use the same strategy too when I argue with security here. I have to admit though that I’m guilty of backing down - not all the time, but there are times when I just don’t want to deal with the extra stress. I think of it as picking my battles, but I do see the point - back down enough, and it just reaches a point where you’re giving up your rights already.

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